Phrases For The Next Edition Of The Oxford Dictionary.

Every year the Oxford dictionary adds several words or phrases into the official lexicon. This year it added Selfie. Turns out the actual definition is WAY different than what I thought it was. It doesn't involve your naughty bits at all. Speaking of, here are some other phrases/words that need to be added.

Self Abuse: This is what happens when a person with compulsion issues drives by a Volkswagen dealership and there is no one else in the car.

Friends With Benefits: A friend that gives you his tickets when he can't attend sporting events, hosts epic tailgate parties, always picks up the check at lunch, volunteers to be the designated driver, and always has your favorite beer in his fridge.

Sweater Puppies: Used to describe really awesome things. Because, ahhhhhh.

Note to self: The saying is Raked Over The Coals, and not Raped Over The Coals. Although my mistaken phrase is much more colorful, it is probably only applicable during prison riots and Viking pillages.

Really?! It Means That? Are You Sure?

Today, I learned that if you have a friend, and sometimes you go out and have beers with him, and sometimes he takes you camping with him in his camper trailer, and once he let you borrow his family cabin, and he has season tickets to the local football team and he always lets you have one of the tickets, and sometimes he takes you to lunch and he always pays, and sometimes the two of you tell naughty jokes in the bathroom of a downtown bar, and now matter what, he always makes sure you get home safe, well, today I learned it that even if your friend does all those things for you, you still can't refer to that friend, when you're talking to other people, as your "friend with benefits".