...long live, Hill Blocks View. I miss writing. But the thought of one more round of "welcome backs", or obsessing over stats, or thinking of the clever response to a comment, or the obligation to read everyone else's blog... not so much. So I'll try and write. No pressure. If you feel the need to respond, you can email me. I like email. email@example.com
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Mr. Topper On Osama Bin Laden's Death
Ask Mr. Topper
Dear Mr. Topper, Did you hear that Seal Team Six, snuck into Pakistan and killed Osama Bin Laden? Pretty cool huh? - M. Cronce
Sure they did. That's what they want you to believe. Here's what really happened. The CIA called me last month and then I showed up at their secret base in Hollywood, that's where the money is. They had built a time machine. So then, I went back in time and fought off the terrorists with a paper clip and a stick of gum, that's all you can get through with in the time machine. So I killed all the terrorists but those guys that took down the trade center, it sucks but before I went back in time they blew up the whole city. But Osama had genetically engineered himself into a time travelling cyborg so I had to chase him through time, and then he joined up with Hitler and Stalin and they changed the course of history and enslaved all mankind and I had to fight them but I picked up a gun from a Nazi Zombie, (the first thing they created when they took over) but i removed his head with my karate death chop. And then I killed Stalin and beat Hilter to death with Stalin's big head, but Osama got away with a omega nuclear total annihilation bomb, so I had to follow him into Pakistan. But he jumped back through time so I only had my paper clip and my bubble gum again. But he didn't expect me to follow him so I made a crude slingshot with my gum and I shot him in the head and it shorted out his cyborg face and it blew up, which is why they say his face is destroyed, and then I disarmed the bomb, with the gum. Seal Team Six just swooped in to take me home. And we dropped the bomb in the water but Osama's body has been cryogenicaly frozen so they can study his cyborg weaponry.
And that's what really happened.
Discovered a small paper from San Luis Obisbo, California.
I subscribed because it's awesome. All excerpts used without permission.