Today, I learned that if you have a friend, and sometimes you go out and have beers with him, and sometimes he takes you camping with him in his camper trailer, and once he let you borrow his family cabin, and he has season tickets to the local football team and he always lets you have one of the tickets, and sometimes he takes you to lunch and he always pays, and sometimes the two of you tell naughty jokes in the bathroom of a downtown bar, and now matter what, he always makes sure you get home safe, well, today I learned it that even if your friend does all those things for you, you still can't refer to that friend, when you're talking to other people, as your "friend with benefits".
