I consolidated the stories about Fred.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

A Nerd, A Geek, or A Dork? Which Kind of Woman Repellant Are You?

I am so tired of people calling me a nerd. Really?! In this day and age we still feel the need to label and demean our fellow man? I thought we were beyond that. And besides, I am clearly not smart enough to be a nerd. I can barely program my own VCR. I am obviously a Geek. If you are not sure what you are, I submit the following quiz. Select the answer that most closely resembles you.

Pocket Protector = Nerd
Nerd - Currently studying quantum-physics and string theory, hoping to discover new dimensions.
Geek - Has seen Star Wars 567 times; once got in a fight (albeit a slap fight) over stormtrooper dialog.
Dork - Has glow in the dark stars on walls of bachelor pad. Or Mom's basement as some call it.

Nerd - Built own gaming computer, has LAN parties at Chinese friends house where they play World of Warcraft in mandarin.
Geek - Has every gaming console ever invented, plays video games during waking hours, (ALL waking hours); missed grandfather's funeral because it was on the same day they released the new Mortal Kombat, and intends to name children after characters from Final Fantasy.
Dork - Prefers a handheld gaming device, for portability purposes. The downside being that all saved data is lost if device is turned upside down and shaken.

State of the Art Gaming
Nerd - A Brief History of Time.
Geek - The Uncanny X-Men.
Dork - Turns on the sub-titles while watching The Simpsons.

Nerd - Blade Runner.
Geek - Star Wars.
Dork - Told by relatives to watch Napoleon Dynamite, because he acts and looks just like you.
Fanboy = Geek

Nerd - NASA, one of the National Labs, or possibly a university.
Geek - Comic book store, gaming store, otherwise they are on unemployment.
Dork -  Customer service, providing ample victims for stories about action figures and dislike of Lady GaGa.

Nerd - Acknowledge they theoretically exist. But, postulate girls might also be a race of mysterious aliens.
Geek - Chastity until Milla Jojovich is their pledge, and the women of the world gladly hold them to it.
Dork - Possibly married. Weak mind, strong back, makes for good husband. Probably didn't realize there were two sexes, until pleasantly surprised on wedding night.

Fanny Pack = Dork

Nerd - Fractals. Impressionists. Cubists.
Geek - Exclusively Star Wars and Mortal Kombat posters.
Dork - Velvet Elvis.

Nerd - Monty Python.
Geek - Monty Python.
Dork - Monty Python. The litmus test, if you love Monty Python; you fall into one of these categories.

Nerd - Create the software that allows them to exist.
Geek - Thinks all the blogs they read are stupid, frequently leaves comments telling said bloggers how stupid they are, and how much better they could do it, if they so desired.
Dork - Writes 'em.

Which column did you associate the most with? That is what category you most likely fall into. For instance I am clearly a Ge... no wait, Holy crap; I'm a DORK! Ah man, there must be some mistake. It's probably just that geeky dork that came up with this quiz. What does he know?


  1. haha, I like dorks geeks and nerds so the test is faild. Funny post O_o

  2. I think I fall between Geeky and Dorky Bitch. Accent on the Bitch! hahahaha

  3. Don't think I didn't notice the little jabs at me, especially the games. You WILL pay! Now grab your lightsaber and let's do this!

  4. @ Alex: Ah a flaw in my logic. Does not compute. Does not compute. phhsisixx

    @ Psycho: That's a whole different quiz. One I am very much afraid to approach.

    @ Anon: Methinks thou dost protest too much. You are the very poster child of geekdom. Thus sayeth the Dork.

  5. Thought I might've gotten away with this but I once had an etch-a-sketch (although I was eight at the time), however I write a blog and once asked everyone to call me Loretta.

    Guess I'm a she-dork.
    I been called worse.

    ps I've stumbled this....

  6. Thanks Cowgirl. As names go she-dork is pretty tame.

  7. I've always had trouble categorizing myself. I always thought myself a GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease)

    but after reading your blog I'm starting to think I'm a Gork.

  8. i am a lady combo pack of the three... i would share my info @ it, but i have to go hang my newest fractal painting of elvis in my mother's basement apartment, while i stream the latest box-set of the holy grail on ultra-violet-ray post-apocalyptic video player.
    [p.s. screw gaga!]

  9. @ Drone: Gork? Isn't that the villain/alien from a 50's scifi movie?

    @ Vi: I do not feel qualified to judge the dweebiness of females. I was always in awe, of their femaleness,

  10. I should have watched Star Wars when I had the chance. Now no hope for me. I will always be a dork.

  11. There is no hope for any of us undesirables. Except, when there is hope. Hope that helped.

  12. proudly fall into the category of geek. I read comics and play xbox and work in a book shop :D fun times

  13. Geek pride.
    We're weak, we're geek. Get used to it...
    or at the very least, stop with the wedgies.

  14. LOL, Geek pride indeed. Shit, here I was so proud of my geek status do be downgraded to dork. Cheers:S

  15. It's a crushing blow to the self esteem when you realize you're not even a geek, isn't it? I share your pain.


Keep it PG-13 people! My mom reads this.