I Will Write No More Forever, Non-Satirically

I tried to be sincere. And heartfelt, and not snarky. Oooh, bad move. I almost got run out of town on a rail. People are in their ruts, they don't want anybody telling them they ought to be civil. "Be civil? Screw you", they said. "When we want to stupid opinion will tell you what it is, blog boy". "Now dance monkey, dance; and say something funny while you're at it". I get it. I will never pontificate again. Dig in to your respective sides and sing songs of morale and victory, "Yeah us!", "You guys suck!" I no longer care. I will take my talents somewhere they will be appreciated, (if anyone says Brokeback Mountain, we're gonna fight) I am going to start a roller derby for blind debutantes that weigh 5 spins (and their dogs of course).
     I am turning over a new leaf, and will only write snarkily... Wait, that was the way I was writing originally. So I will turn the new leaf over to the old side, and write with extra snark. I will unturn the leaf of the sincere writing back to the other side. The side where I just mainly write to amuse myself, and think "hee hee, I am SO clever." That side, the new-old-new leaf side. How many sides do leaves have again? Who cares, I'm back. Yeah me! (You still suck.)

Uncivility and Consequences

While I was writing the previous post, a whackjob in Arizona killed some people who he considered "The Enemy". All I can say is, SEE?! Today on the talk shows, the discussion dujour was all about civility. The pundits were all up in arms about how we treat each other. Will things change? I doubt it. The thing is; most of us only have a problem when the uncivil behavior is directed at someone we like. It isn't so offensive when the president we didn't vote for is called Hitler. We all spend way to much demonizing each other, dehumanizing each other. This time it was a crazy conservative, but libs talk as if conservatives are killing the poor and eating them for dinner.

     Oftentimes, Christians aren't any better. Obviously, the abhorrent Hillsboro God Hates Fags Church, tops the list of how not to do things. But, I have to tell you I don't think that the conservative talk show guys display ANY of the descriptors of love from Corinthians. They aren't patient or kind, they boast for a living, on and on down the list. On all counts they are pretty much opposite. I am not saying that we have to (Kumbaya) get along, or accept everything, or agree on anything. Let's just not be so ugly.

     I, personally, have changed my attitude on political civility, recently. I watched the ways that liberals treated Bush. (He is SATAN.) I was amazed how that everything he did was interpreted as evil, "did you see that? He sneezed at a foreign press dinner, he might as well shot him in the face." And then Obama got elected, and the very same comments started coming from the other side. Well, I for one, don't want to be part of that anymore. I got off the crazy train. Obama isn't Stalin reincarnate. Bush isn't Hitler. I will still vote the way that I usually do, I just don't need to incite a riot on my way.

*UPDATE: June 2, 2011. Many A few of you pointed out that this isn't a funny post, and this is ostensibly a humor blog. Well, it was humorous how sincere I was. Also it was humorous to me, at how all my liberal friends were like "yeah, I totally agree" and then continued to post vitriol. Apparently it is only divisive if the other political party puts it out. And then I had some conservative friends that pointed out, that the gunman didn't even listen to political radio. I have proof this wasn't the case. The gunman took a picture before the rampage and I have analyzed it and here is what I found.

     The gunman is naked except for a red thong and two handguns. Very symbolic. He is saying the liberal government has stripped him of his rights. And what color are conservative states? Red. And what do thongs do? They divide, just like talk radio. And what do they cover? Privates. Private citizens, not illegals. And the guns? They're just guns, don't try and read something into everything, you freak!

Civility is Dead. Good Effin' Riddance.

As the decades pass it becomes clear that some things have become obsolete; the telegraph, cursive, bell bottoms, and the VCR come to mind. But concepts have their day as well. For instance, we no longer find it necessary to treat women like delicate flowers, and chivalry, by and large, has gone away. Only a few old school types even miss it. The men glad to be done with trying to protect their woman and women glad to not be bossed around anymore. Civility is another idea that has bitten the dust, died a largely anonymous death. And, I say, "Big (expletive) Deal". I don't have the time to mourn it's loss, nor the inclination.

     This is the digital age, we don't have time to slow down for manners, we're going a million miles and hour with our hair on fire. Common decency is a time waster as well; who needs it? We are important, people care (or should care) what we think, we no longer have to get along with people we don't like, or don't have anything in common with.We are out there doing and buying and being individuals and being fabulous. We don't have to communicate with anyone we don't want to, we can "unfriend" people that we don't like. We can even pick the news we like, Rush or Keith? Don't worry about it, we got you covered.
     Politics. That's one area we really don't need civility. WE are right and they aren't. It's that simple. To be civil with each other we have to have some semblance of empathy, and that doesn't work for us. We have rights, uncivil rights, we don't have to give their stupid ideas any credence. President Obama is Hitler. Tea Partiers are Nazi's. President Bush is Hitler. Hey, It's your opinion; and we're entitled to express them. That's they way things should be, we have the right, nay, the obligation, to call each other Nazi's. It's the 59th amendment, I'm pretty sure.
     While politics is the the most obvious example of uncivil behavior, it certainly does not have the exclusive rights. The entertainment industry reeks of it. You have the aforementioned talk show hosts that almost exclusively say incendiary things. Rush tells you that everybody liberal is evil, and Keith Olbermann tells us that whoever he doesn't agree with is the worst person in the world. In sports, Jim Rome tells us women basketball players are horses or has a field day when Curtis Martin objects to his negative "takes". Excluding Mike and Mike, ESPN is filled with smug anchors who belittle most everyone, "wearing jean shorts means you're stupid", or telling everyone they "don't get it". Guess what? IT SELLS! They are all at the top of their fields, they have tons of imitators running around.

     Us lowly non-famous people are into it as well. If some guy is driving like an idiot and you try to get around him, and he takes offense to that, he is well within his uncivil rights to threaten to pull a gun on you. Bully for him. We don't have to be decent to each other. That waitress that forgot your coffee? She is a stupid cow. You don't have to get along with your wife, if they can't deal with it you can get another. On the whole it takes too much time to be pleasant, we shouldn't even bother. Say what you want to say, do what you want, if someone gets in your way, demand your respect. Take what's yours, and who cares what anyone else thinks. It's your world, don't let anyone tell you different.