When I was a child I was afraid of many things. I was afraid of the dark, horror movies and pretty girls. I was small and timid and life seemed so scary. I grew up and joined the Marine Corps, and I even went into combat. But for the most part I was just too stupid to feel fear.
Now I am a full grown man, and my fears multiply by the day. They run the gamut from the mundane to the bizarre: I fear that something awful will happen to my children. I fear that I will totally screw up my children. I fear that I won't be able to beat this stupid f*cking writers block, (did I ever even do creative stuff?) I fear that I will go crazy, but not the happy eccentric movie crazy, the eat somebody's face off crazy. I fear that one day my poor posture will reach a critical point and first my shoulders and then my spine will begin folding up on themselves, like a travel map, until I simply disappear, having halved myself out of existence. I fear that doesn't make sense. I fear that I will turn into my dead alcoholic father. And the current fear du jour is the fear of moving to California where I don't have a job and I might fail and we will lose all of out stuff and end up on the streets and we won't be able to sell our current house and I have a month and a half to get it on the market and... and... God, what I wouldn't give to be afraid of some plain ordinary C.H.U.D. right at the moment.