I consolidated the stories about Fred.


...long live, Hill Blocks View. I miss writing. But the thought of one more round of "welcome backs", or obsessing over stats, or thinking of the clever response to a comment, or the obligation to read everyone else's blog... not so much. So I'll try and write. No pressure. If you feel the need to respond, you can email me. I like email. flipaul@yahoo.com

Thursday, May 19, 2011

An Application For GameStop.

PERSONAL INFORMATION:    Name:_________________________
Sex: _____ Male _____ Female     Age: ______     Weight: _____ lbs.

Race: _____________________     Religion: _____________________
*If you answered female, 18-40 with a weight under 170lbs. Please stop. You are hired. If you Cosplay Lara Croft at ComicCon events, will you marry me? I will give you everything I will ever earn.
**Listing Elvish or Klingon as Race, or Jedi as Religion, was funny... 30 years ago.

If a customer comes into the store and asks some questions that reveal he is not very knowledgeable; what is correct way to respond to said customer?: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
*If you respond with anything but a patronizing cutting remark dripping with condescension, you don't belong here.

Do you live in your parents or your grandparents:  _____Basement   _____Attic   _____Converted Garage  _____Your childhood room?
*Don't lie. We know you don't live with Milla Jojovich in her penthouse suite.

What is an apt description of your skin shade?: _____Pale  _____White  _____Paper White _____Translucent  _____Transparent  _____Neon White
_____ Fresh Snow on a Bright Sunny Day White  _____ Pasty
*As long as you don't have a tan, we're OK.

What is your experience level with members of the opposite sex? No. I mean a real live person.:_______________________________________________
*There is no right answer. I just like hearing about people who have actually been with a woman.

What is your favorite food?: _________________________________
*Tostinos Microwave Party Pizza is the correct answer. Mountain Dew and Fiery Cheetos is also acceptable.

What kind of music do you listen to?:_________________________________
*Anything other than Scandinavian Death Metal will be considered a FAIL.

The only way to earn a job, is for you to defeat a current employee in a video game duel. What game will you choose?: ______Mortal Kombat.
*Duh. There are no other choices.