Angel Of Deaf.

I haven't written much lately. I have been busy pursuing my alternate career. It came about, when I discovered an egregious hole in the musical universe. It sickens me to realize that in a world where you can find country rap or gay hardcore punk there is simply nothing for fans of death metal who also happen to be devoid of hearing. I set about to rectify this situation.

   I have been busy writing songs for the debut album of my new band Angel of Deaf. I have been designing the artwork and the layout for the CD. I have been working on band costumes and set pieces for the stage. I have been busy setting up tour dates and writing ridiculous riders for our concert contracts. And next week I go into the studio to finish up recording.
   I would tell you to order my CD, but it's crap. Completely unlistenable. It's worse than a flaming bag of cats playing disco on bagpipes. So, so bad. It will probably be against the Geneva Convention to even own a copy. But since my target demographic can't hear a thing, I didn't really put a premium on practice. Or working on the songs. Or even learning how to play our instruments. But we look great!

Ask A Theoretical Physicist.

My name is Dr. Reginald Eugene Harolds and I am the foremost authority in the field of Theoretical Physics. I am a Rhodes Scholar and a Fellow from MIT. I teach String Theory and Advanced Quantum Mechanics to the brightest students in the world, and I am known for making complex quantum theories accessible. The kind folks at HBV have provided me a forum that avails me the chance to answer your questions on how the universe works and why. I am giddy with anticipation; so please, ask away.

Dear Dr. Harolds,
If regular girls wear shirts that say, "HEY! My eyes are up there!", do strippers wear hats that say, "What are you looking at? My boobs are down there!"?
     -Curious in Detroit
Dear Curious: Uh, uhmm. Much like Higgs bosun, I cannot confirm the existence of these so called boobs, you speak of. But, if you strip an electron from a hydrogen atom, it is possible to create a particle beam weapon. I hope this helps.

Dear Dr. Harolds,
If you have ever been to a party on Halloween you have surely noticed that all the girls dress like strippers. Does that conversely mean, that strippers dress up like accountants and dental hygienists on Halloween?

     -Curious in Gross Pointe
Dear Curious: I don't know. I am an expert in Physics, not strippers! Does anybody have a Physics related question?

Dear Dr. Harolds,

According to to the prevailing thoughts on the string theory, there are infinite Earths with infinite possible histories.

     -Curious in Ann Arbor

Dear Curious: That is not a question. But, yes that is one theory.

Dear Dr. Harolds,

So you're saying that there is an Earth out there, populated entirely by strippers? 

     -Curious in Kalamazoo

ARGHH!

Rambo: The Criterion Collection