Before you get all excited and try and get me to kiss your loathsome ex, it only appears to work on things that I am a fan of; not on actual people. Also, it is not 100% accurate, occasionally an entity will be able to withstand my bad juju and prosper, but it is extremely rare.
With the exception of The Simpson's, I have killed all of my favorite TV shows. The following shows have succumbed to my awful powers: Herman's Head, Arrested Development, Sliders, Firefly, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Andy Barker, P.I., My Name Is Earl, Heroes (which I didn't kill off immediately, it became convoluted and painful to watch first), and Pushing Daisies. I'm sure there are hundreds more, but they died before their names were imprinted on my brain.
The local college football is the worst. No. Literally, the worst. Of all the Division I schools in the country, the Lobos are at the bottom. They have won two games in three years, and fired their coach mid-season, after losing to a much smaller school for homecoming. My favorite NFL team is equally cursed. The Miami Dolphins will also probably fire their coach during the year. And the Dolphins, who once went undefeated for an entire season, haven't won anything significant in 38 years.
Now, I am not just bitching, there is a point to all this. If you pay me a significant amount of money and let me know which TV show or team you hate the most, I will root for them and give them the dreaded flip's kiss of death. Fans of the New York Yankees, the New York Jets and the New Mexico State Aggies don't need to apply. I already curse their main rivals, pro bono.
