...long live, Hill Blocks View. I miss writing. But the thought of one more round of "welcome backs", or obsessing over stats, or thinking of the clever response to a comment, or the obligation to read everyone else's blog... not so much. So I'll try and write. No pressure. If you feel the need to respond, you can email me. I like email. firstname.lastname@example.org
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The Difference Between You And Darth Vader. Or James Bond.
"It is not a stupid song. You're just jealous."
My wife thinks that everybody needs a theme song. Hers is "Walk Don't Run" by the Ventures. I think she might have a point. Part of what makes Darth Vader or James Bond so cool, is their iconic, easily identifiable, theme music. How intimidating would Lord Vader be if "Copacabana" played every time he entered the room, instead of "Duh duh duh duduh duh duduh duh". He would have kick me signs taped to his cape in no time. Or, how about being introduced to "Bond, James Bond" to the strains of "The Circus Song". He certainly wouldn't be as as appealing to exotic uninhibited women. He would probably be a virgin in his Mom's basement. "Mom, you didn't tell me Q called. Now I'm never gonna get my license."
I tried it myself for awhile. Every time I entered a room I hummed Darth Vader's theme. But nobody bought it. More like Dork Vader, is what I got a lot of. So, then I tried the Jaws theme, but it's too low and even my meanest friends would hardly qualify my nose as a dorsal fin. I tried the Exorcist, Halloween and Friday the 13th themes but kept scaring myself, and I got tired of sleeping with the lights on, plus I can never remember which one is Friday the 13th and which is Halloween. Next, I tried some cartoon theme songs, but I have my AA in computer animation, so it just didn't seem right. Maybe a really good sitcom's theme song. Anybody remember what the song to Herman's Head sounded like?
MA! Stop leaving your sculptures on my bed!
The technology is there. If we can have separate ringtones for all of our friends, why can't we have a theme song following us around? Shouldn't there be an an app for that? So start thinking of what music you want to follow you around. But think carefully, you don't want to pick something trendy that will wear out quickly. Can you image being followed around by "The Macarena" or (shudder to think) "What's Going On?" by Four Non Blondes? AGHH!! Oh no! It's stuck in my head, now I'm going to have to scrub my brain with some U2 to get rid of it. Theme songs could be dangerous, I might have to reconsider. But if I had to pick, it would be something strong and manly. "It's fun to stay at the YMCA...