What the heck man?! I can't believe you tattooed this on my chest. What a pile of crap. Dude, I lifeguard in the summer at the Y. Dang, dude! My life is over. I'm gonna have to flippin kill myself, and then I'm gonna have to kill you.
I said I wanted a tattoo that said I was a sexy beast. Something that was dangerous. Something that told the ladies that I was an animal. Like a bear, lion, wolf or even a killer whale, but sexy. Not a tattoo of all of them, along with those... those darn words. Ah dude, I'm never gonna get a date again. Why, dude? Why?