"Well Flip," you say, "why don't you just stop?" Because I can't. I gave my loyalty to these teams, and I can't take it back. "That's borderline retarded", you say (unless you're really PC, and then you might just call me mentally challenged or stupid or pathetic or dummy poo-poo head <---this from my key kindergarden demographic.)
I swear, I wish I could be more band-wagonish. Who's winning this year? Atlanta? I love Atlanta. The Orioles are going to win the World Series? I've always loved the Orioles. It would make my life, infinitely less painful. Or if I didn't care about sports at all. That would be great too! (If I was a little girl.) But I care. So I suffer.
I'm just waiting for that wondrous day when my team comes through in the clutch and wins the Big One. And I can proudly proclaim, "That's MY team! I stuck with them through thick and thin!" And I can claim some small part of their victory. That wondrous, wondrous day that never, ever, comes.
But I've just come up with a new idea that just might turn my fortunes around. If I proved to the Karmic Ether that I am a loyal dedicated uber-fan, it would be forced to grace my teams with heroic superpowers and they would reign supreme in their respective fields of competition. Surely Karma will reward me if I get a huge tattoo right in the middle of my chest declaring my love for my favorite teams. With out further ado, here it is, a Lobo riding a Dolphin while wearing Red Sox... TO VICTORY!
Artwork by my friend, the uber-talented Mike Cronce. Colors, by yours truly. |