I consolidated the stories about Fred.


...long live, Hill Blocks View. I miss writing. But the thought of one more round of "welcome backs", or obsessing over stats, or thinking of the clever response to a comment, or the obligation to read everyone else's blog... not so much. So I'll try and write. No pressure. If you feel the need to respond, you can email me. I like email. flipaul@yahoo.com

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Emperor's New Costume.

ARGH! What?
You. What the hell?
What the hell, what? It's Halloween.
That's not a costume!
Sure it is.
It isn't. 
It is so. I'm a zombie.
You're not a zombie. You're NAKED.
Zombies are naked.
Zombies aren't naked.
Maybe I got bitten during sex.
No! You don't even look like a zombie.
Just got turned.
There's no bite marks.
They're hidden under my clothes.
You don't have clothes. YOU'RE NAKED!
Good point... I'm a Viking.
You don't look like a Viking.
I do too.
Vikings weren't naked. Vikings wore helmets and carried round shields and axes. 
I dropped mine in battle.
You're naked and you're an idiot.
I'm the Invisible Man.
You are a very visible naked idiot.
I'm a leprechaun.
An imaginary friend.
That almost works, but you can't see imaginary friends. And I'm pretty sure they wear clothes.
If they're human.
Yes, of course, it's just weird when animals wear pants. Or coats or whatever.
I'm Shrodinger.
Of Shrodinger's Cat fame? How so?
My clothes may or may not be in a box.
That doesn't even make sense.
I'm a Pict.
Of what?
No. I'm a Pict. A wild Celtic warrior madman. They a often went into battle naked.
You don't have a weapon.
I left it in my other pants.
You're not wearing pants!
Also. Picts painted themselves blue.
I'm blue.
Pale isn't really blue. 
I didn't have time. I was in a bit of a rush.
You're a bit of an idiot.
Hey, I know! It's a birthday suit costume.
Hey, I know! You're a moron.
Well, yours isn't so great. You're only wearing a cop outfit.
I know. I'm a cop.
I'm a cop.
You're not even an exciting cop. The cop from the Village People, A stripper cop. Something.
I'm a cop.
Maybe a naked cop.
Cops aren't naked.
They are if they're having sex.
Maybe you're not doing it right.
Shut Up! Listen; you can't walk around without clothes on. It's the law.
It's Halloween!
Still the law.
Really? What about my constitutional rights?
You don't have the right to be naked.
I'm pretty sure. ...blah, blah, something, something, something, have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of nakedness.
Idiot. YOU have the right to remain silent.