I consolidated the stories about Fred.


...long live, Hill Blocks View. I miss writing. But the thought of one more round of "welcome backs", or obsessing over stats, or thinking of the clever response to a comment, or the obligation to read everyone else's blog... not so much. So I'll try and write. No pressure. If you feel the need to respond, you can email me. I like email. flipaul@yahoo.com

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Underwear Salesman. Door To Door.

I think the key to making money, is to use tried and true methods to sell new products. Why is it that people don't sell door to door anymore? We prefer the cold anonymity of the Internet to dealing with somebody face to face. I think it is a sad state of affairs that people prefer to deal with strangers online in some antiseptic room in India, China or even New Jersey instead of allowing a stranger into your own cozy living room and allowing them to shill some crap at you. I decided it was time to change that.
   I needed a product. It was time to brainstorm, so I did what I always do when I brainstorm. I bought a six pack of beer, took off my pants and sat on the front porch to meditate. Hours or even minutes later, I became aware of two important facts; I was out of beer, and somebody was screaming hysterically "Underwear! He's only wearing underwear!" That's it! I need more beer. And I know what I'm going to sell.
   Underwear is so popular that it has it's own show on prime time with models bouncing around in wings and all. And kids like underwear so much that they don't want their pants to cover them. People love underwear. It's like a multi-zillion dollar business or something. But what's the best format for selling underwear? I could lug around a big black suitcase with my wares in them, but that sounds like hard work. Or I could wear them!

First problem. Men aren't home during the day to buy underwear.
I'll try the ladies. They buy underwear. If only somebody would open the door.
I guess it's not acceptable to wander around in underwear. I'll cover up until I get to the door. This was fairly effective at first. But they didn't seem to appreciate the hard sell once I got my foot in the door. They hardly ever let me, or even get the words Underwear Salesman out. They just screamed and slammed the door. I guess I'll have to try some other business... As soon as I get out of jail.