Americans spend literally bazillions of dollars every year on therapy and drugs to treat various mental maladies. We are a neurotic and fearful lot. Psychologists and Psychiatrists study for years and charge insanely exorbitant prices to help alleviate our fears. Many people can't afford to be cured.
What if I told you there was another, cheaper, option? Come to me, and I'll fix you right up. Sure, I don't have any of the training, but I only charge half as much. And I'm relatively sure that my therapy is just as effective. Probably.
Through my patent pending fear therapy we get you to address your fears and then conquer them with support and understanding. For instance, if your biggest fear is clowns, we will put you in a relaxing room full of soft pillows and peaceful music, and then a half naked clown wielding a chainsaw will bust in through the wall and attack you. As you struggle for your very life your brain will develop strategies that will help it overcome it's baseless fear.
And if you are having abandonment issues, OCD, or Agoraphobia, we can help as well. We simply put you in a relaxing room full of soft pillows and peaceful music and then a naked clown will attack you with a chainsaw. Because; what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.