What separates you from your favorite celebrity? Aside from the restraining orders, and the unnecessarily violent and aggressive bodyguards, (Yes, I'm talking about you Bruno, stomping on my man parts while pepper spraying my face, was uncalled for, There are unwritten rules, man.) and the talent, and the reality shows, and the looks, and the "accidentally" released sex tapes, and the plastic surgery, and the ceaseless drive to be in the public consciousness?
That's right! Young looking elbows. That's why I came up with Flip's Elbow Polish. With liberal applications of our patent pending polish, your elbows will soon have that confident appealing look of all todays hottest Hollywood elbows. Goodbye dingy, yellowing, scuffed, aging, discolored elbows. Hello new, sparkling, taut, shiny, perfect elbows. Before long you'll be mistaken for Scarlett Johansson.* Possibly.** And your life will be perfect, limited guarantee.*** Not for use on knees, shoulders, knuckles or ankles.****
Order yours today. For only 42 simple payments of $49.99, you can purchase 2 ounces of panacea. And start rubbing elbows with the stars.
*Not an endorsement, Scarlett Johansson does not use Flip's Elbow Polish. Probably. But she does have very nice elbows. I'm not saying, I'm just saying. I mean I don't think it's possible for them to be that nice without enhancement. But if she say's she doesn't use elbow polish, we'll just have to take her word for it. (Flip's Elbow Polish.)
**Most certainly not.
***Not guaranteed in any way whatsoever.
****No, seriously. If you use Flip's Elbow Polish on knees it will cause a rift in the space time continuum that will bring about the end of life as we know it.
Here is the first time that elbow polish made an appearance in HILL BLOCKS VIEW. How To Throw An Office Christmas Party.
HILL BLOCKS VIEW IS DEAD.
...long live, Hill Blocks View. I miss writing. But the thought of one more round of "welcome backs", or obsessing over stats, or thinking of the clever response to a comment, or the obligation to read everyone else's blog... not so much. So I'll try and write. No pressure. If you feel the need to respond, you can email me. I like email. firstname.lastname@example.org