So say you're a young liberal and you really want to protest stuff and change things, but you can't take off from work because you have bills to pay, coffee and craft beer to drink, and fun things to do besides if you don't work you'll lose your nice stuff, ordinarily you would just sigh heavily and fire off an angry email to your senator, but now you can have all the civil disobedience with none of the inconvenience of sleeping on the sidewalk, lifting up heavy things to throw through windows, eating bad food, and getting maced by cops. Simply sign up with OCCUPIED! and we will take over the organization of demonstration. We will plan your anarchy for you from start to finish. You can show up for the Angry Sign Media Event or or watch the entire event from the comfort of your downtown apartment or local art studio/ coffee house. Sure it won't be cheap; a full fledged conflagration costs $250K, but change doesn't come cheap, literally. Sign up today and get free rabble rousers and graffiti vandals for the climactic police clash. You'll be doing your civic duty and still get to catch that local indie band you've just discovered you've always been a fan of.
For our conservative friends, we offer essentially the same package, except there is less throwing things through windows and more American flags and patriotic pandering. And everybody is armed.
Please make sure to specify which package you are interested in, so we make sure to compare the right person to Hitler.
