I consolidated the stories about Fred.


...long live, Hill Blocks View. I miss writing. But the thought of one more round of "welcome backs", or obsessing over stats, or thinking of the clever response to a comment, or the obligation to read everyone else's blog... not so much. So I'll try and write. No pressure. If you feel the need to respond, you can email me. I like email. flipaul@yahoo.com

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Safety Instructor.

There are two ways to do things; the right way, the wrong way, and my way. And that makes me a perfect safety instructor. Because you know what they say, those that can't, teach. And my can't reaches levels that most people could only dream of. What you do is hire me to come to your business and I will assess your potential safety pitfalls. If there is a way for somebody to injure themselves at your place of business, I will discover it.
   I, myself, am responsible for at least thirty ridiculous warning labels on products currently on shelves. The, Do not use a hair dryer while taking a bath? That was me. The, Don't drop or otherwise abuse your propane torch, or you might catch fire and possibly die? Me also. I am also responsible for warnings about rolling forklifts, juggling live grenades, and climbing out of moving vehicles.
   Could somebody accidentally get their heads caught in a chair? If somebody tries to break into your business, could they get caught upside down on a fence by their pants, and pass out as the blood rushes to their brain? Could an idiot break his leg trying to do a flip off of the roof of your place of business? Hire me and find out. (The answer is yes on all accounts, by the way.)