I consolidated the stories about Fred.


...long live, Hill Blocks View. I miss writing. But the thought of one more round of "welcome backs", or obsessing over stats, or thinking of the clever response to a comment, or the obligation to read everyone else's blog... not so much. So I'll try and write. No pressure. If you feel the need to respond, you can email me. I like email. flipaul@yahoo.com

Friday, April 12, 2013

Klutz Proofing.

*flip is currently chronicling his attempts to get rich. Oddly enough, flip's exploits are being recounted alphabetically. (That's A-Z, for the uninitiated.) flip is also referring to himself in the third person. ' Cause flip's just cool like that. 

I am a klutz, and apparently I am not alone. Everywhere, I see people with cuts, bruises and bumps. I doubt in my middle ages I will be able to train myself to be more graceful, but unless I come up with something I'm bound to die in some tragic "he stood up too fast into the underside of a cabinet" accident. And whatever I come up with to help me, I can market to other Klutzes.
   I tried using baby proofing technology to klutz proof my home, but that didn't work. It was prohibitively expensive, and I have hurt myself on nearly every square inch of my home, I couldn't just get rid of everything that had scratched or bruised me. Plus what about when I wasn't at home? Today's modern klutz spends many hours away from home every day, Then I came up with a simple yet elegant solution. I'll Klutz proof myself, then I'll be safe wherever my day takes me.

*Nobody would buy my suit. People would rather suffer life's small injuries than look like this all day. Plus after twelve hours wrapped in plastic, body odor becomes lethal. Single people were unable to attract mates, and people lost jobs due to their appearance. I guess I'll try again tomorrow.